Students are hangry

As I sit down to enjoy some much-needed free reading time, I hear my stomach rumble at such a pitch that my roommate calls from the other room, “Haven’t you eaten yet?”

The sad truth? I have. Just 15 minutes ago. I’m hangry.hangry

I’m not the only one. If you troll college students tweets, Yik Yaks or listen to any conversation for more than five minutes, one quickly learns the cafeteria food just isn’t up to par. In a major way.

In fact, the website College Grotto completed a survey of 1,000 student to figure out what the top ten complaints were from students. Not surprisingly, gross cafeteria food ranked number three. Strangely, poor WiFi connections didn’t make the cut.

Now while I also lament about the struggle of finding an adequate or sometimes even a hot meal in a college cafeteria, I do believe that as a creative generation and one which has an expanse of cafeteria food at our disposal, we can create a meal which can be both satisfying and tasty (gasp).

To get the ball rolling, here are three of my favorite “homemade” meals:

1. Hidden Chicken Parmesan

Hidden Chicken Parmesan. See, it's hidden under all the cheese!
Hidden Chicken Parmesan. See, it’s hidden under all the cheese!

You see that breaded chicken breast laying lifeless on the warming table? I see a fricken Olive Garden in a microwave.

Reproduction recipe:

One breaded or grilled chicken breast

Marinara sauce

A single slice of cheese (whatever type you prefer)

Lay chicken on a bed of pasta or rice and cover with marinara  sauce. Place cheese slice on top and microwave for a minute and thirty seconds.

2. Hot ‘n’ Ready Tuna Melt

Hot 'n' ready tuna melt
Hot ‘n’ Ready Tuna Melt. I can’t even.

For those who like fish. Or because this is coming from your college cafeteria, faux fish.

Reproduction Recipe:

Hamburger bun or any type of bread


Slice of choice cheese

Toast hamburger bun and heat tuna in a microwave bowl for about one minute. Spread now smelly tuna on toasted bun and place a single slice of cheese on top. Nuke in microwave for another 30 seconds or until cheese is melted. Top with paprika if available. But realistically, it’s probably not.

3. Take It On Tea

College is a cesspool of germy germs and this winter season is no exception. Counter a sore throat with ALL of the vitamin C.

Reproduction Recipe:

Three to four lemon slices

Two cups of hot water

Two to three tablespoons of honey (or to taste)

Place slightly squeezed lemons in a normal glass (a mug usually isn’t big enough) and pour the hot water over them. Add honey and stir until mixed. Drink and act as if you’re in a Halls Cough Drop commercial. Refreshed.

If you’re looking for further inspiration or just enjoy lists, check out the Daily Meal’s list of the 75 Best Colleges for Food 2014. Yeah, my college didn’t make it on there either.

What are some of your “homemade” meals? Any tips or tricks?


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